I’m (Max) writing this one to keep us up to date while Ludo recovers from his mystery illness.

18.06.24 – 25.06.24

In the interest of keeping this mega update shortish, I’ll give a rapid rundown of the rest of Turkey.

From Istanbul we got a coach to Ankara and then onwards to Samsun on the Black Sea coast.

After watching Turkey win against Georgia in a very epic tea house, we began Cycling to Ordu.

The road was busy and we spent most of the time on a hard shoulder which was sad riding to say the least.

Over this time I developed a pretty hefty Thyroid Cyst. Weird, I know.

Long story short, we stayed in Rize for a few days while I visited a hospital to get it scanned and drained.

After this we cycled for two more days across the Georgian border and into Batumi which we were really looking forward to.

Georgia had been high on our list from the start of planning the trip so to actually get there felt amazing.

It wasn’t a great introduction to the country though as we spent about an hour at the border in the extra-baggage queue. Let’s just say the stereotype about British people being the only ones that know how to queue properly is entirely accurate.

I need to get a life.

26.06.24 – 28.06.24

From reports online and looking at some pictures, it was hard to tell what Batumi, our first Georgian city, would actually be like.

Some people said it was like Canary Wharf on the Black Sea, others that it was a boring town with nothing of note to do.

We liked it and were, perhaps naively, shocked to see just how young and trendy the population was.

Things like fashion and lifestyle seemed to matter more here than other European countries we had been to.

We wiled away our two days in Batumi watching the Euros on a big screen in a central piazza and eating at a quaint restaurant run by two older Georgian ladies.

It was super cheap and extremely tasty. They served this berry compote drink that was homemade and sort of like a sweeter cranberry juice. I couldn’t get enough it.

It was an uneventful few days. The calm before the storm you could say if your name rhymes with Shmoodolic Pardner.

We had a plan for the coming week. It was Ludo’s birthday on 29th June so we wanted to mark the occasion with something special.

How about a a few days spent in a homestay in a remote but beautiful mountain village that doubles as a UNESCO World Heritage Site?

We’re talking hikes to glaciers, eating home-cooked food for breakfast and dinner and generally absorbing the picturesque atmosphere.

It was a great plan. Some would say foolproof.

The town in our sights is called Ushguli, one of the highest continuously inhabited areas in Europe.

Before we could explore Ushguli though, we had to get there. And oh boy, were we in for an experience.

28.06.24 – 29.06.24

We got the bus from Batumi to Kutaisi and spent the night in a really excellent guest house. Nursing cat and kittens included free of charge.

Step one done.

Next was a five hour Matrushka ride to Mestia, a town from which you can get another Matrushka to Ushguli.

If you’re unfamiliar with what a Matrushka is, as we were before boarding one, they are basically shabby mini buses driven by the suicidal fifth horseman of the apocalypse who happens to like listening to Electro-swing Polka music and Pitbull remixes.

Think rejected songs for Moldovas Eurovision entries over the years.

Safe to say, sitting in one for five hours is not fun. Nor is it even ironically funny for more than about a minute.

Our Matrushka wound its way up stomach-churning mountain bends until it mercifully sped into Mestia.

It was on this journey that Ludo began to feel a bit iffy. It could have been the run he went on the day before, or some car sickness. We thought little of it.

For some masochistic reason, we were eager for more pain as we wanted to get to Ushguli via another Matrushka straight away. Thankfully we were spared more death-defying driving for the day as we had missed the last bus up the mountain.

With Ludo slowly deteriorating, we bundled into a guest house for the night. However, not before the locals played tourist tennis with me in a bid to flog two Matrushka tickets to Ushguli.

I think I got scammed but hey ho.

29.06.24 – 02.07.24

At 10am the next day we reluctantly boarded the bus to Ushguli. It was only an hour and a half to go and we rallied through the kilometres, weaving around cow chicanes, dogs and construction lorries.

As we stepped out into Ushguli, limbs all still present, the green mountain vistas and medieval-looking buildings made me think it was probably just about worth the arduous journey.

What made this feeling even stronger was the lovely family that hosted us at a homestay. Not only did they cook amazing food but they also gladly butchered Ludo’s birthday watermelon for us. They even packaged it up in a box for me to take on a hike.

I spent my time in Ushguli hiking. Ludo spent it sweating in a nightmarish haze of Ibuprofen and pain. Some say it’s punishment for being born in the hellscape that is Portsmouth. I couldn’t possibly comment.

On one hike to a glacier I met a dog at the end who followed me all the way back down to town for about 7kms.

Credit to the sick man though, he managed to drag himself to a local restaurant to watch England beat Slovakia.

With no sign of a recovery, it was time to head back down the mountain which of course meant another Matrushka ride.

On that journey Ludo took a turn for the worse. For a moment or two, I thought I was going to have get the driver to turn his minibus into an ambulance.

He already drove like he had a patient in the back suffering from two broken legs and multiple organ failure so we probably would have been in good hands.

Thankfully Ludo managed to hold himself together. And good heavens was Kutaisi a sight for sore eyes, backs and necks.

02.07.24 – 06.07.24

We returned to the guest house we had left our bikes at four days previously. The owner was an incredibly kind and thoughtful lady who ran the place with a toddler in tow. Being around her felt safe for some reason.

So it was no real shame that we were going to have to stay for what became another five days in order for Ludo to recover.

I loved it. I am much more a home body than Ludo so sticking around somewhere for an extended period felt great. Plus there was the nursing cat and her kittens (fed by the nice lady) in the complex with us so it couldn’t have been better.

Ludo gradually recovered as I mooched around Kutaisi for a few days on my lonesome which I rather enjoyed. Taking it very easy, sampling cafes and local markets is unashamedly more my pace.

Once again, we watched Gareth Southgate’s sadistically dull England side somehow suck a win out of the Euros as the only Brits in the vicinity. Proud dads on holiday vibes.

I have grown to quite like Kutaisi. It’s leafy, not busy and you can walk to everything whilst not feeling too small. I’m sure Ludo feels the same about the inside of our apartment. Unlucky mate.

Amongst all of the madness of the last week, we also passed the two month mark. It feels like it has come around both slowly and quickly; an age since we cycled with the boys in rainy Normandy but everything in between features as a bit of a blur in my mind.

One thing that doesn’t change though is missing home, family and Mel. The trip has definitely taught me that I am someone who enjoys home comforts, both the material and emotional. Being away has made me ultra-focused to make the most of being around loved ones whilst I still can.

Anyway, with the worst of Ludo’s flu passed, we decided to tentatively venture out onto the road towards Tbilisi.

It’s one of the places we have both been really excited to see so that feeling will keep us going for the next five days or so.

Hopefully the Matrushka drivers remember us and give us a wide berth. I don’t think I can face the last thing I hear being the electro-swing remixed Borat theme tune.